New York!

I was talking to my brother on the phone after returning from Indiana and filling him in on what was going on in our lives. When I told him about our upcoming trip to New York, he asked, incredulously, "you're traveling AGAIN?!" Yes, a mere five days after we returned home from Bloomington, we hopped on a plane and headed for the big city. This time, Claire stayed with Brian's parents in Kalamazoo, which of course changed the entire nature of the trip. It was the first time I had been away from her overnight, and while I was lonesome for her, it was wonderful to have a mental break and know that she was in good hands.

Brian and his twin brother Jeff turned 30 on May 13th. Months ago, Jeff's girlfriend Lauren contacted me about coordinating something special for their birthday, and we ultimately decided that Brian and I would fly out to NYC to surprise Jeff with a weekend of fun (our presence is the best present! ;)). This was originally a surprise for Brian, too, but I ended up telling him what the plan was a few weeks beforehand after he started asking a million questions.

The weekend was a whirlwind. We got in on Friday evening, sat on Jeff and Lauren's beautiful deck for a while, then went out to dinner at, like, 9. In this season of lameness, Brian and I are usually in BED by 9, so it was exciting to experience the world at that hour. We got back, hung out for a while and enjoyed some cupcakes, then went to bed after midnight. In the best news of all, Brian and I slept until 9 am, a full three hours later than normal, and were able to hang out in our PJs, drinking coffee, without anyone meowing in our faces or trying to shove things into the electrical outlets.

 

 

 

Blurry birthday candles

Water taxi-ing

The rest of the day was full of food (enormous stuffed French toast and, later, a root beer float made with Speculoos ice cream), a lot of walking, and a ride in a water taxi. Lauren was kind enough to get us a room at the Archer Hotel, where the manager sent a bottle of champagne up to us in celebration of the twins' birthday (weirdly, he was originally from Kalamazoo and knew some friends of Brian and Jeff's). After we headed our separate ways to shower and change, we hung out on the rooftop bar for a bit before making our way to our murder mystery dinner. So fun! Brian and I were reminded of the time went to Tony and Tina's Wedding back in Vegas in 2007.

Awaiting the taxi

The show was mostly funny and occasionally dramatic with a twist at the end. We headed back to the hotel, popped open the bottle of champagne, and relaxed for a couple hours until Brian and I decided to call it a night. I spent my first Mother's Day eating bagels at Laguardia, then flying on airplanes all day before at last arriving back in Grand Rapids around 4. We were so, so excited to be reunited with our girl, who, thankfully, had a great weekend with Grammy and Papa.

Pre-dinner with their "Playkill"

Check out that sweet photobomb between our heads

Slightly blurry, but cute!

Fancy drinks on the roof

the boys looking snazzy

Miss Thing, clearly not missing us at all!

10 months old

Crawling!

And yet again, another month has passed and our girl is TEN MONTHS OLD. We are quickly rounding the bend to one, which is really crazy. Is this all parents do? I feel like I have spent the past ten months wondering where all the time has gone, which is so cliche and so very parent-like.

Claire is now proudly sporting four teeth--two on top and two on bottom. She's also developed an especially cheesy grin that displays those beautiful teeth. This month has brought a sharp increase in mobility. She's now officially crawling, although she prefers to army crawl, and she looooves to look for things she isn't supposed to get into (the drawers of the TV stand, electrical outlets, any type of wire or cord, the cats' dishes). We seriously need to baby proof.

Evidence of said cheesy grin

Here's the summary of life with our little/big ten-month-old:

SLEEP

She is really, truly sleeping through the night now, every night. This generally means 6:30-6:30. We may need to invest in some blackout curtains, as this is trending earlier with the sunrise, but, hey, twelve hours is pretty great. After months and months of feeling like I was never going to get a full night's sleep again, being able to put her to bed and know that she'll snooze peacefully until the next morning is a game-changer.

Her naps are also generally pretty good, and usually last about 90 minutes twice per day. We're fairly regimented about the nap schedule. I know some parents are pretty go-with-the-flow about it, but we have a much happier baby when she gets enough sleep. The downside is that it ties us to the house for large chunks of the day. This can be a pain sometimes, especially if we're out somewhere or are in the middle of something, but it gives everybody a chance for a little downtime.

EATING

Dad was eating Cheerios, so Claire had to have some, too.

She now nurses four times per day, almost like clockwork. In the beginning, when I felt like she nursed literally all day long, I thought we would never reach this milestone, so it honestly feels pretty liberating to be here. She's also becoming less and less interested in nursing and would much rather look around the room, try to pet the cats, or put her finger up my nose (soooo fun). From what I've read, most babies go through this stage. I'm not sure if it'll pass or if she's just reaching the end of the breastfeeding relationship. Either way, we'll go with it. I don't plan on continuing to nurse much past a year, so we'll figure it out as we go along. Her doctor said we could begin mixing cow's milk into her bottles at the eleven-month mark (a little at a time), so I'm assuming that will ease the transition for everybody.

As far as solid foods, she now eats three meals a day. We still do a mix of purees and finger foods, and she's definitely getting more adept at picking things up with her thumb and pointer. A lot of food still ends up on the floor, but I imagine that will be part of our life for a while. ;) We're going to take advantage of her willingness to eat pretty much anything as long as it lasts. The biggest hit this week is Grammy's banana bread, which she managed to scarf down in record time.

MILESTONES

As I mentioned before, she's now crawling for real and just generally not at all interested in sitting in one place for anything length of time. She also sits up on her own and is attempting to pull up on furniture/laundry baskets/boxes but isn't quite there yet. She tends to have a cautious personality, so I think this will come quickly as she gains the confidence to go for it.


She's making a ton of sounds, but is still not doing any of the repetitive consonants that they like to see at this stage. We have an evaluation with Early On in a few weeks, so we'll see what they have to say (or maybe she'll start randomly babbling before then? let's hope). Nonetheless, she's very communicative and responsive. I can tell she understands what we're saying, and she'll give kisses, clap her hands, or throw her hands up in the air if we ask her to do so, even without us demonstrating first. We're not terribly worried or stressed about it at this point, but it'll be nice to get a professional opinion.

Sack of potatoes! She loves this game.

LIKES:
Many of the same ones from last month. Books, animal noises, Grace and Theo.

DISLIKES:
Also many of the same from last month. Riding in the car. Removing something from her hands (eg the TV remote or our phones, both of which she is obsessed with).

A belated Mother's Day shot. We had the big camera out this day, so that's why she's wearing the same outfit in every photo. :)

This is a really great stage. She is fun, happy, and easily entertained, without any of the mischievousness that I'm sure we'll start to see in the next six months or so. There is truly nothing better than watching her personality emerge and develop.

beautiful Bloomington

Last weekend, we took Claire on her first ever extended road trip to Bloomington, Indiana.

Riding in the car is so fun! (This face lasted approximately three seconds...)

Brian and I moved to Bloomington in August of 2009 so that I could start law school there and he could begin work at the business school. It was the place where we first lived together after two years of being in a long distance relationship (ie a huge leap of faith--glad that one worked out for us!), where we ultimately got married, and where we made many good friends. Most of them have moved away at this point, but our close friends Fred and Angie have thankfully stuck around.

We have deep nostalgia for Bloomington (well, I do...Brian doesn't really get nostalgic about much, although he does love it there), and we hadn't been back in two years, so it was a lot of fun to drive around town. Everything has changed! There are a million new apartment buildings, the campus has undergone some serious renovations, and our trusty old Kroger has been extremely fancified (no pictures of that, but there is a FOOD COURT along with a schedule of live music).

Brian and I used to love hiking out at Brown County State Park, which is about 30 minutes outside of Bloomington. It's a beautiful place with sprawling vistas and many (many) rolling hills. We took a little trip out there on Saturday, and Brian carried Claire in a borrowed hiking backpack. It was a fairly short and flat hike, but it's not easy to schlep a 20 pound kid on your back. They were both troopers.

Hiking is serious business

May 2015 (the sun was bright and C was over getting her picture taken)

the same-ish picture, from 2009

That night, we were able to escape for a little while to grab dinner at Upland with Fred and Angie. Upland has ALSO undergone a renovation, so it was fun to see the bigger space and enjoy a lovely evening dining al fresco.

We hadn't been out for dinner without our kid in...many months

The drive home was magically shorter than we anticipated, which was a pleasant surprise. Claire wasn't crazy about riding in her car seat all weekend, so she was DONE by the time we pulled into our apartment complex. Nonetheless, it's nice to know these trips are possible and also fun. Of course, traveling with a kid is a whole new ball game, and we spent a lot of brain space concerning ourselves with where and when she would sleep and eat, how far we could push her schedule, and if she was getting overstimulated. It all worked out fine, though. It's good for all of us to get out of our normal routine for a few days, and trips to visit friends and family are a major part of our life, so we all better get used to it.

A hard-fought nap that thankfully lasted close to two hours

around here

A great shot captured by our babysitter this week

I wish I could say we've been up to really exciting things over the past ten days, but we've mostly been living life as normal with an adventure or two thrown in. We have a few trips coming up in the next couple of months, so we won't be spending quiiiite as much time at home.

On dreary days at home, we entertain ourselves by riding around the house in diaper boxes.

Last week, we had Claire's 9-month appointment. She's our strong, healthy girl who continues to have a slightly above-average weight, slightly below-average height, with an extremely large head (to contain her giant brain, of course). This was a shot-free appointment, thank everything, but she'll need a whole bunch the next time we visit the pediatrician in July.

On Saturday, we drove the two hours to Ypsilanti to visit B, S, and baby L. Despite choosing not to sleep in the car, Claire remained pleasant and powered through the afternoon on only a thirty minute stroller nap. Both babies were extremely chill and well-behaved, so we enjoyed some Mexican food + margaritas for lunch, followed by chocolate malts. It was a beautiful day of mid-70s and sunshine.

For our latest family photo, Claire decided to throw down some gang signs

The rest of the week was full of work (and SNOW), but Brian decided to take yesterday and today off, so we're enjoying a long weekend of family fun.

Wandering the aisles at Buy, Buy, Baby, where we loitered in the reclining chair section for a while

the Ada covered bridge--Claire is pumped

Working extremely hard to remove her shoe, as usual

"Dad, I really want you to have this piece of sweet potato I just removed from my mouth."

Next up: Bloomington, Indiana, on Thursday. We can't wait!

9 months old

Somehow, Claire is nine months old today!

It's safe to say that when you have your first baby, you 100% have no idea what to expect. Even if you think you do. Even if you have spent lots and lots of time with other people's babies. Even if you have read all the books. Your own baby is different from all those other babies, plus it's a 24/7 job. There were many, MANY moments in the early days when Brian and I wondered when the real parents were going to show up and take over. We felt like we had no clue what we were doing.

That's all to say...it's so much easier now. It isn't EASY, don't get me wrong, but we've hit our stride. I know it won't be this way forever---life with a kid means everything, good and bad, is a phase---but we're enjoying it as long as it lasts.

Shoe in one hand, attempted sock removal in the other.

A little rundown of our lives:

SLEEP

Everyone's favorite baby topic. We generally put Claire to bed between 6:30 and 7, and she gets up around 6:30 or 7. Some mornings she's up at 6:15 (like today). Other times, she likes to snooze until 7:30. We try to adjust her naps accordingly, and it usually works out fine. She sleeps all the way through the night about 2-3 times a week right now, and wakes up once between 2 and 5 on the other nights. I'm still nursing, so I'll usually just feed her, and she'll go right back to sleep.

She naps twice a day, once at about 9 and again at about 1, but that's pretty flexible. Naps are anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours, but she seems to like the 80 minute mark the most.

EATING

She still nurses anywhere from 5-7 times a day, but I really don't keep track or have much of a schedule. When I'm at work, she'll take 2-3 bottles over the course of 9 hours. This is steadily decreasing as she eats more solid food.

Going to town on a slice of apple

She LOVES food. This is surprising to no one, I'm sure, since Brian and I are both fans of food ourselves. We do a mixture of fruit/veggie purees and pieces of whatever we have around. She's a big fan of the pumpkin + whole milk yogurt combo, and she loves those baby puff things. Otherwise, there's not much she refuses to eat. We put cooked beans on her highchair tray, and that keeps her occupied for a while. That study recently came out about the benefits of early peanut exposure, so I've given her squares of peanut butter toast (a hit!). Also pieces of scrambled egg. We had an unfortunate puking incident after I gave her some avocado last week, but, other than that, things have mostly sat well with her.

MILESTONES

Crawling is exhausting!

She is really, really close to crawling, which I've been saying for a month now, but now it seems like she's TRULY days away. She gets up on her hands and knees and rocks back and forth. Even still, she manages to get around just fine by rolling or pulling herself across the floor. I've seen her get herself up into a sitting position on her own once, but she hasn't done it again. She loves to stand and does a pretty good job maintaining her balance near the furniture even when we let go.

Hanging on to the couch

She's a pretty quiet baby overall. She's babbled only a few times, and tends to spend most of her days watching the world, particularly when she's around people she doesn't know very well. I'm trying not to stress too much about this---her non-verbal communication skills seem solid to me, and she both understands us and expresses herself quite well. We'll see what the pediatrician has to say at her appointment this week, but I'm going to trust that she'll start talking to us when she's ready.

Other fun stuff:

-As previously mentioned, "so big" is one of our favorite activities
-clapping
-giving kisses
-laughing--she's adorably ticklish, but what she'll actually laugh at changes by the day (yesterday, Grace the cat was hilarious)

Her favorite face these days?

Likes:
watching/petting the cats, splashing in the tub, trying to escape her post-bath diaper change, the itsy bitsy spider, walks in the stroller

Dislikes:
getting her face wiped off after eating (OMG the torture!), getting dressed or undressed, not being held when she wants to be held, Mommy or Daddy walking out of sight

Also loves sucking her thumb

Claire is our sweet, joyful girl. She makes us laugh with her spunky, observant personality, and we are thrilled to have such an enthusiastic third member of our trio.

parenthood and inadequacy

Unrelated photo, but, hey, isn't our kid cute?

I read (yet another) article this morning on dealing with guilt as a working mom. The primary lesson was that we all need to do what we all need to do to stay sane. As in, don't obsess about the laundry and burn yourself out. Watch TV in the evenings with a glass of wine and ride out the crazy because this, too, shall pass.

I get that completely. Adding kids to the mix tends to amplify the hamster wheel of life---making sure everybody is fed, rested, bathed, and has gone to the bathroom an appropriate number of times, in addition to the laundry, dishes, groceries, and gas in the car (and on and on) gets to be a relentless, never-ending cycle of exhaustion. It doesn't stop. There is no break, unless you make one for yourself and let it all go for a little while.

I have been struggling with all this since Claire was born. I took an eight-week (unpaid) maternity leave. That was by choice. My employer is wonderful and would have given me more time off had I asked for it, but I only work part time, and I figured by the time my baby was eight weeks old, I'd be ready for one day a week of compensation and adult conversation. I was right---getting out of the house, putting on professional clothes, and using my brain were all important to my mental health. And they still are.

I ultimately transitioned to two full days of work per week, which is both really great and really hard. My job is, for the most part, enjoyable. My coworkers are wonderful, the work itself is different every day, and our agency is extremely beneficial for the community. I love that it affords me the flexibility to spend time at home with Claire during this developmentally important time of her life.

On the other hand, I feel weirdly caught between two worlds. I'm not a stay-at-home parent, and I'm not a full-time working mom. I am both and neither, and it is challenging to feel good at any one thing while you're trying to balance it all. This is the plight of parents, I understand. I'm not alone in this feeling, and, in fact, the impossibility of the "work-life balance" seems to be the prevailing narrative in our culture right now. The truth is, it's hard to feel good at your job when you've been up half the night with a hungry baby. It's hard to feel like a good parent when the only time you get to spend with your kid is that one hour period in the evening between when you get home from work and she goes to bed (this is also the time when she is the fussiest, I'd say).

I love spending time with her. Watching her grow is the greatest joy of my life, and I spend many days feeling so fortunate to have this beautiful, bright child as part of our family. This makes me feel guilty when I say that sometimes our days at home together are mind-numbingly boring. We try to get out of the house as much as we can. We read books, sing songs, eat Cheerios, roll around on the floor, pet the cats, look out the window, etc. etc. I talk to her all day long, narrating our lives. This is all great! But there are hard days, when she is cranky because her teeth hurt, because she is tired, because she is hungry or wet, when she just wants to be held all the time, when she cries because I step out of the room. She's a baby. This is what babies do. She is my little companion and best friend, and she is almost always up for whatever adventure I take her on. For all that, I am grateful. By the time Tuesday morning rolls around, though, I'm ready for work. And by the time Wednesday afternoon arrives, I'm ready to snuggle my girl.

Even still, I try not to get lost in a sea of motherhood, forgetting who I am and all that stuff I used to do pre-baby. But I spend many days feeling like our house should be cleaner and better decorated, our dinners healthier, our scrapbooks up-to-date (or, um, existent), our laundry folded, our fridge well-stocked. If I'm the one at home, isn't it my responsibility to make sure all this is taken care of? Am I even allowed to take time for myself if this stuff isn't done?

I don't have anything close to an answer to all this. I don't know how many kids we'll have or where my career is headed. There is no master plan to work full time when our kid(s) is/are in school. We're just fumbling along and figuring it out as we go. I'm not sure what the right balance is or if we'll ever find it.

I find this attitude to be the most helpful. Our current arrangement isn't forever. We don't have to make childcare decisions that will last for the next five years, and we're allowed to change our minds. In the meantime, the "balance" can be both brutal and perfect, depending on the day or the hour. For now, I'm grateful we have options.

Easter Weekend

You never know what Easter in early April is going to be like, but the weather is finally taking a turn for the better around here. There were a few flurries floating around when I went grocery shopping on Saturday (gaaaaah, Michigan!), but the sun was out for Easter Sunday, and we were able to enjoy some blue skies and temps in the sixties. Hurray!

On Saturday, the three of us went out for breakfast, one of our favorite traditions now that we have a little person who likes to wake up early. C enjoys sitting in her high chair at the table with us, although we do have to be sure she has some food in her hand at all times. Baby Mum Mums are a favorite, and she got a few bites of egg of our plates.

All we do all day is kiss her cheeks

The rest of Saturday was kind of a bust. We had hoped to get out and walk around or go to a park, but it was cold and windy, so we ended up playing on the floor at home. Everyone is going a liiiiittle stir crazy after a long winter in our tiny apartment, so we're all looking forward to some consistently decent weather. This all corresponds nicely to Claire's burgeoning mobility, though, and we're excited to be able to run around outside when the time comes.

After Claire went to bed, Brian turned on the MSU/Duke game, which quickly turned into a completely disaster. We ended up turning it off and watching the last few episodes of Mad Men on Netflix instead. Much better, in my opinion. ;)

On Sunday, we woke up at 6:45ish and realized that Claire had slept THE ENTIRE NIGHT. As in, over twelve hours straight. This magic has not repeated itself, but it's nice to know at least it's possible at this point.

The Easter bunny decided to visit Grammy and Papa's house instead of ours (hmmm...that bunny better step up his game), so we had a quiet morning at home. We practiced "so big!" with Claire (see Facebook video for adorable proof), and then put her down for a nap.

Her decision to start sleeping on her stomach has made a world of difference at our house. Also, sleeping babies are the cutest ever.

I hated having to wake her up, but we needed to get going. When I walked in her room and turned off her white noise machine, she started to stir...and then hysterically cry. Poor baby! She rallied, thankfully, and we headed down to Kalamazoo. Her preferred car activity these days is to take off her shoes and socks and hold them in her hands/chew on them.

We celebrated Easter with egg strata, a few face licks from the dogs, and, at last, that sweet basket of goodies.

No chocolate this year

I realized recently how very few pictures I have of my girl and me, since I am generally the photographer around here, so I was grateful to get a few family shots. 

Claire slept in the car on the way home (again holding her shoes in her hands), and we fed her some veggie purees, then got her ready for bed. We are a little compulsive about bedtime around here, but those precious few hours in the evening keep everybody sane and happy.

All in all, a really nice weekend. Have I mentioned how much better life is when it's not horrifyingly cold and snowy all the time? We are big fans of spring.